Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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