I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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