Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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