i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
