please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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