i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
