i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
