yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize