if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
