oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
