With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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