He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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