Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize