She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
