Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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