You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize