im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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