You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
