please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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