even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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