I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
