I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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