how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
