I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize