I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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