Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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