Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize