Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I think my fart just growled at me.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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