At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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