didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
