Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
