I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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