cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
