So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
