you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
