i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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