He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
