White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
