So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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