I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
