Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
