I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
