Did you just see the Batmobile???
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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