census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
fuck your aforementioned shoe
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize
