Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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