nut hugger
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
