I'm going to jail i love you
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
