He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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