do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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