omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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