Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
