would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
