I hope mine doesn't look like that
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
