Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
