how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
