Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
