so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize