I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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