even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
