yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
