i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
