my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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