WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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